ASK: A Question from the Bored Housewife

Dear Miss and Mrs. H,

I love your blog! Its nice to get two completley different opinions on one subject. I have a couple questions for you both and then need some advice. 

Well I am a Housewife myself and have been married around 5 years. We don't have any children yet and have just bought a house. I have found that we have hit a boredom patch. We don't even fight anymore because I think both of us are so complacent that we don't even see one another. I know this is on both of us but I just feel empty. I need something to wake up for and it cant just be the young man who gets my coffee in the morning. Let me just say he is half my age and I find myself drooling over his grande latte. I love my husband and I miss our friendship but I am afraid I have hit a wall and don't know how to rekindle our flame. When do you know its over? What can I do to make it fun again? Some of my friends have suggested adding to our family but I feel like that's a little bit overboard... What do the both of you think?

Thank-you

Mrs. Bored

Dear Mrs. Bored,

Thank you for reading and responding. We are both very excited to have such a response like we did. I first want to say you are not alone. Every couple goes through a complacent stage. Five years with no children can be called the wall phase. You need to write down real fast 10 things that you love about your husband. I know it sounds impossible, but I promise you will find 10. If you don't then stop writing and look up numbers for counselors. Right now you both need something new and exciting. The quickest fix is for you both to find a hobby not a baby! Both of you should choose one activity to share with your partner. Tennis, fishing, horseback riding, golfing, painting, or create one together. Take something you both like individually and share it with your partner. This shouldn't be work, the activity should be fun and something the other can teach. This will help you find your friendship again. Once your friendship is back then bring on the romance. Sometimes we forget to just plain flirt with our partner. Think of how hard you worked for one another? You bait and hook by playng these parts that help you to be more of what they want, then what you are. Notice how good listeners we can be when we want something. Were taking notes! Then depending on how strong you rate the attraction is how far you will go to lie. There's romantic dinners, weekend get aways, and passion! You can't even walk into a room before you both are ripping each others clothes off with your teeth.  Then once married, you tend to forget the part you plaid and become more aware of your selfish nature. Your wants become your needs and then we wait for the other person to fulfill them. We have to remember that even though we call each other partners were still two individuals. So write down what you need and what you want. The test will be how honest you are with yourself. You may find you need nothing at all, and that all our wants can be fulfilled by ourselves.

Thank-you for writting

-Mrs.Housewife 

Dear Mrs. Bored,

Um 5 years? I would be bored too! My best advice for you is to go to your local wig shop. Yes, its time to pull out my secret weapon! Now choose one or as many as you like. I have one of every shape, size, and color! ;) Go bombshell blond, secretary red, S&M black, or nurse you back to health blond! You know your man, who do you find him sneaking a peek at? Whats his fantasy? Better yet, whats you's? Once you place this wig on your pretty sweet little head you better disappear. Not a trace of you should be left. Change everything! Come up with a name, who is she? What's her secret? Now dress her, do her make-up,  and buy a new perfume.  Once the last touches are done check yourself out in the mirror. Goodbye housewife, heartbreaker is here! I promise you that once he walks in the door he will be soft with his words and rock solid with his dick. Now do what this new found mistress would do. Don't be afraid of the penis ladies, it's the tool that will get you everything you want. If you don't get the response you want,  take your new sex doll on the road and leave boring husband at home!