News: Youth Vs. Wisdom

Hi there Dolls,

I just got done putting the children to bed for the night. Fed the husband, made a little

love, and took a bubble bath! I lathered up my body with a Gardenia lotion and have

thrown on my amazing silk robe. I smell and feel wonderful as I sip on my Cantaloupe

Martini.... Then I snap back from day dreaming about being the 1950's housewife and

back into my reality of chaos and a smell that I'm hoping isn't me. We all have these

images and fantasies of what a housewife is supposed to be, balanced, omnipotent, patient,

and beautiful. Sometimes we can grasp a hand full of fairy dust and magically make this

happen. The other 80 percent of the time we are just trying to make it through the day.

The reality of being a housewife can come down to one word--selflessness. With every

new person you add to your family, the more of yourself you lose. How do we find time

for ourselves in this new world we created with all these little hands pulling us in every

direction? Is it wrong to still feel selfish? How do we find balance and the energy to do it

all? As years go by and your focus changes you will trade problems for problems. In high

school it was staying cool, and your biggest concern about your face was a pimple. As you

get older its wrinkles, adult acne, and some kind of extra skin that makes you look like a

turkey. Your conversations turn from who's asking you to prom to that what Dr. does the

best Botox, Juvederm, and facelifts! Will we ever be enough? What age is it that you're no

longer excused by youth but accountable for your wisdom? Have we created a world where

age has become our enemy? I can actually feel myself start to fear my birthday. A day I

am supposed to rejoice about. A day to celebrate that I am still here! Yet with every candle

added to the cake I feel the clock ticking and I wonder...What path did the little girl I once

was, take me on?

Well she took me here--Kids, a husband, and a house... The all American dream! Write this

down on paper and Anne of Green gables meets Lucille Ball pops in your head. Now your

hard working husband comes in with a famous "Baby I'm home!" bends you over and

passionate kiss arrives. Dinner smells amazing and the table is set to perfection. The kids

come skipping in with laughter echoing in the halls as they gleefully yell daddy's home! You

enjoy dinner with an attentive fulfilling conversation taking in the moment of your

picture perfect family. Your beautiful self then glides over to the kitchen to come back with

a mouth watering dessert. The children then excuse themselves for the night bouncing off

to bed not to be seen or heard from till morning....Yea I would love this too! But the simple

fact is we don't live in a 50's black a white family sitcom. We live in a world that's so fast

passed and complicated by the time we have made one decision 500 come tumbling after.

Simplicity was once what we loathed boring us to tears but now I believe it is our saving

grace. How do we get back to basics the vanilla in life? We encourage our children to make

their own decision and to be original. Don't be a follower be a leader. We pray for them to

have confidence and be able to stand on their own two feet. Do we really allow them to do

this? This world isn't about being vanilla it's about having the choice of 31 flavors. What

does independence mean for a child? We tell our children there perfect the way they are.

Then the moment they show signs of originality we fear it, mock it, and quickly discourage

it. What were projecting is to not stand on their own two feet but to stand on top of ours so

that we can stand for them. Parents crave to be needed. Sometimes we loathe it but once

gone it can cause emotional devastation. This reminds us of the reality that our little bundle

of perfection no longer fits in the palm of our two hands. What once needed us for their

survival has now used, took, and walked away with everything we could possibly

have given. This tiny human needed you to survive and without you they would cease to

exist. We created their personalities by feeding their brains with television, books, and by

simply living life. The moment they opened their eyes they began to absorb images and

when you see everything for the first time its magic. So to your children you are now the

writer and the painter. You will also be their hero and the villain. With every action led

this will be your part in creating this child's personality. You will teach them their fears,

their strengths, and guide them to their passions. So if independence is seen and something

foreign emerges maybe this is what you guided them to be? Don't be scared of what's

different to you. Embrace adapt and learn. We all need love and acceptance and when in

need we all crave to be back at home in our parents arms. Home safe and free from the

choices and expectations of choosing one of the 30 other flavors in a vanilla world.

I want this to be a safe place, even if it is just mine alone. I want to share my experiences

with you and have you do the same. We all are on different journeys but as human beings

we need one another even if it's just through words. You never learn in school how lonely

a room full of people can be...But once there and in need a stranger can be the home you

were looking for. Let's stop competing with joneses and just have them over for dinner and

conversation. If you saw what each person goes through and what they hide from even

themselves you would be surprised by how alike we all are. Our fears usually tend to be the

same but our defensive walls all look different. Some of us cry out and others hide behind

smiles. We all have temptations and how we ask to be loved can cause the most confusion.

Did it start with Adam and Eve and the lack of communication? Or was it a simple tale that

nothing will ever be good enough? As human beings our emotional struggles can leave

scars visual to the eye or lie in a deep sleep brewing for a time to take its wrath. Every

choice we make has been chosen by something we have seen and mocked. When we think

independently or different it can be new and fragile. We can be persuaded by the smallest

opinion. We need to encourage ourselves more and when the feeling of defeat arrives

remember a feeling is just a thought without action. Don't let all your emotions be the

guide to your choices. Ask questions and let your guard down. Be vulnerable to yourself. Don't

be afraid of opinions for people love to be persuaded and entertained. We are a selfish

creature by habit and love to see the leader fall. So if you're being prosecuted and start to

feel the pressure of individuality, assume you're on the right path. You're doing something

really right or something really wrong. If it's wrong then be wrong, you're making mistakes

and learning. Sometimes wrong will lead you to the right path.

Yours Truly, 

The Housewife